For those of you who read my blog titled ‘The One, The Only, F.‘ you would have noted that I mentioned I previously had a blog before the birth of this beautiful one. That blog was around for a few months and I happened to have it the day F said those three words to me. I really show my happiness and positiveness in the original blog post and I wanted to keep that and re-share it with you all, so you can see I am a happy and positive person at times and just see how happy F makes me.
So here it is:
I know it has been a while since I last posted anything but the last couple of weeks have been hectic. I’ve been working a lot more shifts during the week, and been a lot more sociable during the weekends, which are all good things I suppose, so I shan’t complain.
This week has been an exceptionally positive week. So positive, that I haven’t felt this content about things in a long, long while. *Decided to cut a chunk out, it was rather unnecessary and a bit raw!* But that was last week and this week was a whole new week. And what a week it has been!
Last Saturday I went up to the big smoke with my best friend from University. It is always great to see her especially as I know there’s always a cocktail waiting! As always she is my voice of reason. She is the one who knocks some much needed sense into me and helps me realise that I am a bit of an idiot who likes to wreck a good thing when I have it. For that, I am eternally grateful to her.
So yeah, last weekend was great but that’s not the reason for this post. The reason is and I am sure you can guess from the title is that it has something to do with LOVE.
This week has literally been the most picture perfect week with my other half F. He surprised me by taking the day off work on Thursday so we could spend the day together, just me and him, before going to see Jamie T in the evening. It was so perfect just to spend the day without our parents around. Have the house to ourselves. Had a cute coffee date in town and then just had the most relaxing afternoon at home.
Jamie T was incredible in the evening. I would say it was one of the best gigs I have ever been to. I think it helped that I went with F. It was great to dance and act silly and actually enjoy myself without being worried what anyone else thought. Whenever I’m with F, I don’t care what anyone else may think. I don’t care if anyone else looks at me weird. Or judges me. I’m just so content and at ease when I’m with him. He makes me a better person. A person I don’t mind being. A happy person. Maybe even push it as far as saying he makes me feel quite confident. That is one thing I never thought I would start to feel.
Last night was a perfect night in watching Netflix. I know, a bit of a cliché with the whole ‘Netflix and Chill’ thing but honestly, it was just chill and watch Netflix haha. I did have a bad flare up of my IBS and he was so cute and caring. Even feeling bloated and having cramps and stomach spasms, he made me feel like I was the prettiest girl going. I know it sounds silly. It sounds cringey. It sounds cliché. But he is honestly the only person who brings out the best in me and makes me feel most myself when I am around him.
I feel like the saying that what the Japanese say is true. That we have three faces. One we show the world, one we show to our closest friends and family and one which is the truest reflection of ourselves that we show to no one. But I feel that although he will never see the whole true reflection of myself, he is the only person who I have allowed to see maybe more of my truer self than that I show to my family and friends. He sees my ups and downs first hands, he does hear some of my thoughts and fears and beliefs that not even my family know. Yes there will always be one or two things that will remain only known to me but out of the three faces we have, I feel he is the only one to have seen at least a fair chunk of my truer reflection .
Back to last night. I went on a bit of a soppy tangent there! Sorry! While snuggled up in bed chatting, he said I made him so happy, and that he was closer to me than he had ever been with anyone before, and that… *Drum roll please*… He LOVED ME! Yes, Me! He actually loves me! I thought it was impossible for anyone to ever love me, but he does. And I love him back. In my twenty odd years on this planet, I have never felt this way before. I can never normally tolerate people for more than a day at a time. With him, I just can’t get enough. I count down the seconds till I see him, I can’t wait to hear from him and speak to him. It’s so nice to want someone in my life that much. Someone who I know actually wants me in their life despite how up and down I am. He accepts me for me and he loves me that way. I really couldn’t ask for anything more. I don’t want anything more. I want him and that’s that.
I must apologise for this post has been soppy, cringey and too lovey dovey. I promise I will get back to my miserable, moody self soon enough. But it makes a nice change to be positive. Thanks to F for having that effect on me.
I hope you’ve all had a positive week, if not, I hope that tomorrow brings a week of positivity to you too!
Until next time x
That all still rings so true about how F makes me feel and how I feel about him. I really can’t iterate enough just how much F means to me, back then and now.
Anyway, if you’re halfway through The One, The Only, F., I’ll let you get back to it. Or if you’re reading this first, then maybe go check out a bit more juicy detail about F 😉
Not Quite Made Girl