Day 8: Your fears

Hello anxiety. Come forth as this section is very much your domain. 

My fears. 

Gosh. I have a lot. Some pathetically silly others not as silly. I have the common fears like huge spiders, breaking a limb and embarrassing myself continuously. But I also have other fears. Being in a serious car accident is ranked pretty high up in my fears. I fear it so much that if I know I have to drive somewhere the next day, the night before I will keep repeating the route over and over in my head and as I do so I imagine all the places where things can go wrong and potentially have an accident. When I imagine that I can feel the whack and imagine myself in a car and the impact on me. Sounds so irrational writing it down but I’d rather be a passenger in a car than be behind the wheel because it just causes me too much fear and dread. 

My other fears? I have a few others which are probably more normal. However my other biggest fear is ending up alone. I have this sick feeling of dread wash over me at any idea of being on my own till my last day. I fear facing the world alone. Not having anyone to love or anyone to love me. I fear the independence that comes with being on your own for a long period of time. I fear the loneliness. I fear the things you’ll miss by being on your own forever like, having kids, getting married, celebrating anniversaries and birthdays and general life with one person who you value the most in the whole world and will until your dying day. I fear being alone. 

Now I’ve experienced love and going through life events as a couple with F, I know more than ever I want to see my life with him and now I’ve got it I’m so scared of losing it. I’m so scared how the smallest of things could potentially make me lose F. I’m scared of losing something that makes me so happy and safe. 

Day 8: Complete ✔️

Not Quite Made Girl
x

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