Day 30: Write about anything you feel like today

I have lacked a bit at the end of this March 30 Day Challenge. I do apologise. The topics were a great way to get me back into writing but sometimes I just couldn’t write for each day. I tried my best to catch up later down the line, but I don’t think anyone generally reads the posts that I have posted for this challenge so I don’t think anyone is missing out.
It was a great challenge and I liked reading the other posts of those who were taking part. So thank you to B for creating such a well thought challenge and getting us all writing something different.

Day 30: Complete ✔️

Not Quite Made Girl
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If you want to join in go check out Thebitsandbobsinmybrain blog. The more the merrier!

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Day 27: Seven things you think about a lot

  1. The future: Who will be there? Who will I know? Where will I be? Will I have achieved what I hoped to achieve? Will I be happy? Will I be in love?
  2. Love: Fears of being alone. Fears of being dumped. Understanding what love is. Learning the different kinds of love that people offer. How do I show my love? Do people know I love them? Do others really love me or just put up with me?
  3. Money: Will I have enough money this month? I want to do this but my money is low. Always ensuring I am never in debt with anyone. Always insisting on paying my way even if I am struggling with money. Have I got enough money to pay for this night out with friends? Will they think me a bore if I decline the invite because of money? Will I ever earn enough to move out? Will I be able to buy my own house one day with the money I earn?
  4. Those around me: What do they really think? Do they really like me? What are they up to? What goes on in their lives? What don’t I know about them? Do they think I am weird? How much can I trust them? How long with they stay in my life for before they walk away? Is there such thing as true friendship?
  5. How I’m feeling on the inside: Do I really feel anything? What’s the point in life? What is the goal? Where will I be in 10 years time? Why do I feel the way I do? What am I living for? Am I truly happy? Why am I sad? What is going on in my head? What triggers these lows and highs? Will I ever snap out of this? Will I ever be able to cope with it?
  6. Privacy: How much should I share with people? Do people really want to know everything because they care or because they are nosy? How much of our lives is private? Do we share too much?
  7. Food: What’s for dinner? What can I eat? I’m hungry. Food, Food, FOOD!

Day 27: Complete ✔️

Not Quite Made Girl
x

If you want to join in go check out Thebitsandbobsinmybrain blog. The more the merrier!

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Day 25: An in depth description of your body and what you like about it

My body is one of my biggest hang ups. I am never happy with it. Never happy with what I see looking back at me in the mirror. I’m always trying to improve it. Trying to get thinner. Trying to get more athletic. Fake tanning cause I’m so pale.

I’m slightly taller than the average height for a woman of my age and origin. People say I have an athletic/lean build. Long legs. Short torso. Longish arms because my torso is so short.
I have naturally light brown/dark blonde hair but I am forever dying it so at the moment I have dark brown roots and a blonde ombré. Blue eyes which are blue blue in spring and summer and greyish blue in winter and autumn. The one thing I do like about my body is my nose. It is quite petite and “cute” and button like. I have it pierced and often wear a tiny diamond stud. I have full lips and a whole set of teeth. People forever comment on my smile and how “pretty” it is. But I hate it. I hate how my teeth look and how full my lips are. I am forever covering my mouth with my hand.
Talking of hands, I have very long thin fingers and quite big hands over all. I blame the years of playing piano as a child for the length!
I don’t think anyone is every truly happy with their body and find it very hard to describe or talk about it. We all see something completely different in the mirror to what we are told that others see. I hope there’s a lot of people out there who don’t fit into this and are so happy and contempt with their body because they should be. It is a beautiful thing and our temple for life. It is up to us to love it and look after it. It will go through everything with us and go everywhere.
I wished I learned to love my body more and was happy with it. But the reflection in the mirror or pictures is never to my satisfaction and until it is I will forever be working on changing it.

Day 25: Complete ✔️

Not Quite Made Girl
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If you want to join in go check out Thebitsandbobsinmybrain blog. The more the merrier!

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Day 23: Talk about your hobbies and why you like them

I’m a day late with this post but I am almost up to date. Woop!

I would love to reel off a whole list but I really don’t have that many hobbies. I did as a child. I used to be a right little busy bee 🐝 I used to go to multiple dance classes a week including: Ballet, Tap, Modern and Irish Dancing. I also used to go Horse Riding. I would often go Ice Skating. And even got the chance to do kayaking and sailing as part of extra curricular activities at school. I also had a big interest in reading and have been a book worm from the moment I could read.

Now, my hobbies aren’t too numerous. I do the odd bit of Horse Riding here and there when I can but I haven’t been able to find a new yard to go to so it’s been a while. But it is still a big hobby of mine. I also still have a keen interest in Dance. However, I haven’t been able to find many adult classes around where I live so that hobby has been dormant for the last 10 years or so.
I now count exercise as my hobby. Well I did, before I got my bad spells of depression and anxiety. I used to love going every day. Going to the gym suite, doing group classes including: Spinning, Zumba and Body Combat. I would go for the odd swim when I could as well. But as my panic attacks increased and my energy levels flopped, so did my love for exercise. I am slowly getting back into it and trying to force myself to do more but I find it so hard to have the motivation to get up and do it. I used to do a 25 min HIIT session every day at home and loved it. I can’t even get out of bed to do a 15 min session anymore. I will get this hobby and love back, but it might be a while.
I am still a book worm. I love sitting in a library, in my bedroom or in the living room with my music plugged in and just relaxing and getting lost in a book. Again, this hasn’t been happening as much as of late because I have very little attention to be able to sit there for a good amount of time to get lost in a book. My mind is always racing 100mph and I just can’t switch it off to get lost in words.

So yeah, I am pretty dull 😴💤 I have no hobbies, no interests, nothing exciting about me. I am boring and do the same thing day in and day out. But this won’t be forever. I will soon get back into having hobbies and hopefully they will help me battle my anxiety and depression in the future.

Day 23: Complete ✔️

Not Quite Made Girl
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If you want to join in go check out Thebitsandbobsinmybrain blog. The more the merrier!

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Day 22: Who would you invite to your “last supper”?

So I am a couple days late with this post but I’m here. I’m catching up, I promise. I will complete this 30 day challenge! Especially as I have created a whole category for it.

So, my last supper. Sheesh. I have no idea. I have never really thought about it. I suppose most people have some idea. Some want celebrities. Some would want religious figures. Some just their family and friends. Tbh, the people I would like at my last supper, would be my Best Friend BeeBee, her fiancé Ni, and F. We have had meals together, and I have loved them. Conversation just flows. I feel at my most at ease. I feel comfortable around them and I know they will fill the evening with good laughs, memories, smiles and tears of joy. And what better way than to spend a last supper than with your Best Friends?

Day 22: Complete ✔️

Not Quite Made Girl
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If you want to join in go check out Thebitsandbobsinmybrain blog. The more the merrier!

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Day 21: Your greatest accomplishment

My Greatest Accomplishment. This is a tough one. For those around me, they know that I find it very hard to accept when I have done well and that I am very reluctant to praise myself and acknowledge when I have accomplished something great, no matter how small it is.

I suppose for me, my biggest accomplishment so far, in my twenty odd years of living, has to be getting through University and actually graduating with a 2:1 and then going on to do a Postgraduate Certificate. Yes, a lot of people go to University these days and a degree maybe isn’t valued as much as it used to be because more and more people can obtain it, but to me this is an accomplishment, especially in getting a degree in a foreign language. Not only are you learning a subject to a high degree but you are also doing that in a language which is not your mother tongue. For me this is an achievement and maybe I should be more proud of myself for doing it and graduating on a good grade with it.
I have always hated education and struggled. I have never been able to sit down for long periods of time and focus on one thing. I can’t sit and learn for  hours especially if it is something that I am not interested in. I never used to get on with teachers and would always be the silent one sat at the back of the class trying to not get asked to answer a question. I never thought I would go to University. I was reluctant to do A Levels and stay on for Sixth Form. But I did and I did go to University. I stuck out four years there. I even managed a whole year abroad teaching in three different schools in France.

Writing it down, I do realise that this is an achievement and I should be proud of myself. Pat myself on my back more often for doing it and doing it well. It is a big feat for me and I did it. So there, my greatest accomplishment. May not be out of this world but to me it is something I am learning to be proud of.

Day 21: Complete ✔️

Not Quite Made Girl
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If you want to join in go check out Thebitsandbobsinmybrain blog. The more the merrier!

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Day 20: What would your superpower be and why?

For those of you who follow my blog you would have seen that I have previously done a blog on Superpowers and what superpower I would love to have. Going to cheat again and just paste the link here if you want to give it a read.

Superpower – to be able to read people’s minds and what they really think about certain things.

Day 20: Complete ✔️

Not Quite Made Girl
x

If you want to join in go check out Thebitsandbobsinmybrain blog. The more the merrier!

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