Hit the reset, I’m starting again

I have returned! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I apologise for that. There has been a serve lack of postings, whether it be Progress Updates, Dear F (YAWN!), Tunes or even Reviews. I am sorry, but worry no more, for I am back with a post. I’ll leave it up to you whether you think it is interesting or not.

So here’s my sorry excuse as to my lack of posts: I kind of lost all faith in my blog. I started to doubt my ability to write and how little my blog got read. Yes I boycotted Mad to Made Girl for a week before I told myself to snap out of it and stop being so self absorbed. I never started this blog with the intention for people to read it, I only ever wanted a place where I could write my thoughts and opinions without anyone really knowing who I was and without judgement. It was a space for me to rationalise my thoughts. To think things over. Anonymously. But how lucky am I, I have got followers, I have got people viewing it. It doesn’t matter that it might only be 2 or 3, that’s more than I ever expected and I am grateful for that. So with this kick up the bum to pull myself together, I am back here with a new post.  Continue reading “Hit the reset, I’m starting again”

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Progress Update 103

Can I just get a round of high fives as yesterday I hit a couple of realisations and I actually achieved such a change in my train of thought, that a few weeks ago, would have been so different. Amazing what a couple of weeks does for you and a bit of drive, hope and determination.

Image result for high five gif
Source: https://giphy.com/gifs/barack-obama-president-they-tried-TEFplLVRDMWBi

 

Yesterday, the weather was shocking here. It was like a true winter’s day. It rained all day. It was flooding. It was grey. It was cold. It could have given me so many reasons to recluse within myself a bit and draw back from my positive outlook and go back to my old ways.

 

Instead, I embraced it! I got soaked on the way to work, but I was smiling. I didn’t care. It was such a minor thing, it wasn’t going to be permanent and I would dry off the second I got to work.
I walked in with a smile and greeted those around me. I feel I am becoming more approachable. I am dropping that barrier that I used to carry. And it is all thanks to being honest with those around me and being honest with myself.

On Tuesday, I finally opened up to those that I work with. I may have over shared a bit too much, but it helped. I got other opinions, other views, other people’s advice which is so different to that of those that I normally surround myself with, such as friends outside of work and my parents.
Continue reading “Progress Update 103”

Eureka! 💡

It’s been a while. I do apologise. Life has been happening as of late. And in a good way. Hallelujah!
In the words of the band Paramore:

Things are looking up
Oh, finally
I thought I’d never see the day

They really are looking up and for the first time in a long time, I feel generally content with my life and everything that I have. It has taken me a while to reach this point of realisation but I am so glad I finally have.

So many aspects of my life are going right. Things have fallen into place on the job front and with regards to my relationship with F, I feel we are both finally on the same page of understanding and happier and stronger than we’ve ever been. I don’t want to brag or rub it in everyone’s face, because that’s not the point of this blog. The reason I want to talk about the highs and happiness that I am experiencing at the moment is because I want to show that no matter how low you get or how much of a dark, lonely place you find yourself in, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can’t see it at that point of time.

Only a few weeks ago, was I at my lowest, not wanting to continue with life anymore. Believing that me and F were doomed for. That I would never get a job. That I would be stuck at home forever. That I would have to sit at home and look at the same four walls all day, day in, day out. I felt so distant from my friends, my family and F. Continue reading “Eureka! 💡”

Day 21: Your greatest accomplishment

My Greatest Accomplishment. This is a tough one. For those around me, they know that I find it very hard to accept when I have done well and that I am very reluctant to praise myself and acknowledge when I have accomplished something great, no matter how small it is.

I suppose for me, my biggest accomplishment so far, in my twenty odd years of living, has to be getting through University and actually graduating with a 2:1 and then going on to do a Postgraduate Certificate. Yes, a lot of people go to University these days and a degree maybe isn’t valued as much as it used to be because more and more people can obtain it, but to me this is an accomplishment, especially in getting a degree in a foreign language. Not only are you learning a subject to a high degree but you are also doing that in a language which is not your mother tongue. For me this is an achievement and maybe I should be more proud of myself for doing it and graduating on a good grade with it.
I have always hated education and struggled. I have never been able to sit down for long periods of time and focus on one thing. I can’t sit and learn for  hours especially if it is something that I am not interested in. I never used to get on with teachers and would always be the silent one sat at the back of the class trying to not get asked to answer a question. I never thought I would go to University. Continue reading “Day 21: Your greatest accomplishment”