M.I.A

It has been a while since I last wrote on here and I do apologise for my absence, not that my writing is of any interest.

I’ve had a lot happen in the past couple of weeks and I’ve not known quite how to handle it all. I’ve been very high then very low. There hasn’t been a balance and it is throwing me off.

Therapy:

So I’ve had two face to face session and got my third on Monday. My first session was not at all to my liking. I found it very difficult to agree with what was being said and the techniques that I was being taught. I did do a blog post on my first session. I did take on board the advice and kept a worry diary between the two weeks of my appointments.

I understood how the diary could help. How me deciphering if my worries were hypothetical or practical would help me control some of the extent of my worrying. I understood and so wanted this method to work. I gave it a go. My best shot. I kept it for the first week roughly. I wrote down my general worries throughout the day. I knew what these were so they weren’t a surprise. I knew majority of them were hypothetical and there was nothing I could do but it didn’t help me or the worrying. I just had them written down instead of in my head.

My second face to face session. I broke down. I had had a bad couple of weeks between appointments. My tablets were changed and before that I just felt generally low. I told my therapist about the past weeks. What had been bothering me. What I had felt. What had happened. All I was told was that my next appointment would be in a week and I’d be taught techniques to deal with the lows. And apart from a quick run over of my worry diary and some brief explanation of a new worry technique of only allowing myself to worry for half an hour at about 7pm that was the end of the session.  Continue reading “M.I.A”

Excuse me, is this my brain?

I’m not sure where my brain has gone but wherever it has disappeared to, it can fully well stay there. I’m far better off with this hybrid brain that has taken over the past couple of days. Bye 404 Error brain, hello undeniably propitious one!

I don’t know if I’m just experiencing a very high high or psychologically I have convinced myself that not relying on my anti depressants as often is more beneficial than taking them. I’ll let you know when this positivity ends and a low arrives. If it does.

Today I had a job interview. Yes, me. I know, I couldn’t quite believe that after all these months of applying to endless jobs in the city, a company finally liked the look of me. Well actually I didn’t apply for the role. I’d like to say I got headhunted for it but that would be a lie too. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on who you know, these days it is definitely who you know more than what you know. And old family friend’s son got talking to my auntie and became aware that I was looking for a job in marketing. So him being the sweetie he is told my auntie to get me to send my CV to him and he’d pass it on if there was any jobs going.  Continue reading “Excuse me, is this my brain?”